


The Tale of Hashirama Senju

by ObsidiackLeowoethz



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Depression, Desperation, Gay, Gen, Homosexuality, Horror, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Identity Issues, Insanity, Lost Love, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Mental Health Issues, Psychological Drama, Psychological Horror, Psychological Trauma, References to Depression, Sad Ending, Self-Denial, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 09:03:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20561738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsidiackLeowoethz/pseuds/ObsidiackLeowoethz
Summary: No one knew of the real Hashirama. It was just a mask he created to convince the world he was alright. However, deep inside, there was something more.





	The Tale of Hashirama Senju

**Author's Note:**

> This is a oneshot I conceived, inspired by an insanity of Irene Belserion in Fairy Tail.

Hashirama first met Madara as a young boy at a shy eleven years of age. He saw the black haired youth wearing a simple bluish black yukata and pants skipping stones near the river. It was a sight to behold as he wasn’t able to reach the other side. When he first declared himself as a rival in stone skipping, Madara snorted and told him that he’d skip him over the river instead which made Hashirama depressed but immediately turned sunny. When they saw a corpse floating across the river, this was an accidental moment that Hashirama revealed that he was a shinobi. They introduced themselves with one another, not revealing their last names.

They began to meet two to three times a week, sparring, play fighting, skipping rocks or urinating in rivers. It was also in these instances that Itama died which made Hashirama heartbroken, leaving Tobirama as his only younger brother. When he confided his deepest fears and regrets to Madara, the youth smiled, initiating a warm feeling in his chest making him red all over. Despite that, they still talked of the future, meeting here and there, growing closer with one another.

A year later, when he was twelve, Hashirama noticed something different. For every time he was with Madara, he was so happy, smiling endlessly. He later realised that he loved his best friend until when Madara broke their friendship when it was revealed they were from opposing clans, it broke his heart. Still, Madara didn’t know of his feelings, keeping it to himself as the years went by.

He knew his feelings were unnatural, as he was a man to begin with. He denied he had feelings for Madara, keeping on a facade that he just cared for the man nothing more. It was also in these instances that during night time, he would wake up clutching his chest in searing pain as he dreamed of a bittersweet dream, that he and Madara were cuddling under a tree without care in the world. They fought, steel clashed with steel, Sharingan to his Mokuton, it broke his heart.

Hashirama later mourned that Izuna was killed by Tobirama, blaming himself as he wasn’t able to save the man. When Madara fell on his back and Tobirama offered to kill his friend, he was given an ultimatum. Either kill himself or kill his brother. Hashirama chose the former as he loved both his brother and Madara until he was stopped until Konoha was born, finally solidifying the alliance after an era of endless wars.

During the days that followed, it became more apparent that he yearned for Madara’s embrace, touch and to be inside him. Hashirama slammed his head, as this wasn’t normal. He shouldn’t be attracted to fellow men. It was frowned upon. Yet here he was, beside Madara on the rock, talking about the future, offering the Hokage position to him. He saw Madara’s smile and he wanted to kiss those tempting lips though he held back. He was a man and a man should not be with a man.

That day also turned into a disaster when Tobirama insisted that the Hokage must be chosen by the villagers. Forced to comply, he ended up becoming Hokage instead of Madara. This brought a thorn in their friendship which left the Senju devastated. He could no longer talk to him normally, the Uchiha avoiding him purposefully. Guilt tugged at Hashirama in all corners, turning to sake one night. When he was drunk, he accidentally met Madara. His feelings were a wide mess at this point. Without warning he kissed the Uchiha, leaving Madara surprised before he was pushed off and was yelled with something as depraved.

This sobered Hashirama up but pretended to be drunk, putting on a smiling face and said, “Why are you avoiding me, Mito? We can do this before we are married”. This calmed Madara down and told Hashirama he wasn’t Mito, disappearing into the scene immediately until it was forgotten.

Hashirama didn’t forget this encounter however. Kissing Madara was surely a rejection so when he got home that night, he wept, heart broken into pieces. Madara does not feel the same. Still, he convinced himself he didn’t love Madara, just saw him as a friend but it was no use.

The Hashirama he presented to the outside world was different, an entire different persona he crafted himself. The Hashirama who was charismatic, kind, a goof, easily depressed, the one who loves the village, was entirely another person. The real Hashirama was lonely, had feelings for Madara and wept every night. No one knew this except himself. Experiencing that rejection, he decided to marry Mito to ward off these unnatural feelings. But he was wrong. 

He didn’t love Mito in the slightest, just smiling at her with his own crafted persona of the Hokage Hashirama. He loved her but it was false, his own feelings beating for Madara. Still, he didn’t consummate his marriage to her. Tobirama was disappointed with this until the marriage fell apart and Hashirama could care less. One day, he was invited by Madara to the Stone Tablet, talking about the tale of a certain goddess and the sage. He convinced Madara to stay in the village but it proved futile. Madara left the village, leaving Hashirama weeping once again. He didn’t know which he was he, was he the Hokage or the abomination? He didn’t know, Hashirama was confused.

Part of him wanted to run away with Madara and live in a happy world whilst the Hokage persona dictated to do his duty for the village. Deciding enough was enough, he clashed with Madara several times until one final day. He told Tobirama that if he didn’t return, he would be passing on his title to Hokage to him. It was at this moment that he sensed the Uchiha’s chakra in the Valley of the End, he faced his friend once again. He spent the entirety of the battle convincing Madara with his Hokage persona that he was his friend, that he wanted him to stay in the village. His reasoning fell on deaf ears as they battled. Until he stabbed Madara in the back.

The Uchiha told him that he had changed before falling on the ground. No, this made Hashirama weep but still the wound he gave would allow the Uchiha to survive. Just this once he thought. While the man was unconscious under the falling rain, he caressed Madara’s face, finally kissing him. His tongue entered the Uchiha’s mouth which wasn’t returned. He caressed Madara’s body, then bit him on his neck drawing blood in the process. He tasted its metallic taste, swallowing it. Hashirama later was hit with a realization that he shouldn’t take advantage of his friend and so decided to leave him.  
Madara would wake up in the exact same place an hour later, alive. Hashirama was nowhere to be found. Blinded by hatred, he used this opportunity to hide in the Mountain’s Graveyard, regurgitating a portion of Hashirama’s flesh he had bitten earlier. The Uchiha would proceed with his plans with the Infinite Tsukuyomi, biding his time to wait for a suitable pawn. No one heard of Hashirama further, his corpse or his whereabouts.

Tobirama was left with questions about his brother’s and the Uchiha’s corpse. Could it be that Hashirama erased them? It didn’t matter. Tobirama would later have children and a grandchild which was named Tsunade. Still, the peace didn’t last in his lifetime, the First Shinobi World War happened. Two succeeding wars happened, causing deaths which made Madara use Obito as his pawn in the process. The name Hashirama was remembered, remembered for its Hokage persona, not the real one.

Unbeknownst to everyone, after the battle with Madara, Hashirama wandered the lands, weeping, becoming a phantom of his original self. He loved Madara, continuously blaming himself of his inability to prevent Izuna’s death. He spent his time drifting on a boat in a sea, lost in reality. He imagined himself caressing Madara, sleeping with him, smiling with each other, only to be brought back to reality that his dreams were unobtainable. All dreams were unobtainable and they were the most beautiful. Hashirama became lost in his dream world that he never noticed the ripple eyes that he now possessed. One day, Hashirama noticed he felt light, he had no weight and he saw his body dead. Dead from the tidal wave that swept his boat off. He became engrossed with sleeping with Madara that he never noticed he died at a tender age of 28.

His soul would wander the lands of the living, observing people and his brother. He saw the First Shinobi World War and finally discovered Madara was alive. Happy, he listened to Madara’s plans of consuming the world in the Infinite Tsukuyomi, planning his own resurrection. And so, Hashirama planned his. Fortunately for the Senju, his body never decayed and read a long lost ritual in the Land of Ancestors, an Otsutsuki one, to raise the dead. It promised that the resurrected body would never age. He didn’t read the rest, instead he used what remaining chakra he had left in his soul, encasing his own body in a tree he created, protecting it from the harsh weather elements. He gathered nature energy, pumping it into his own body for several years. Hashirama didn’t give up, determined to be reunited with Madara. For several decades he pumped nature energy into it until it sprung to life which forced his own soul back into the vessel.

At first, Hashirama couldn’t move, his muscles had atrophied but he could wait. He retrained to use his muscles until he could move. However, something was different. He wanted to eat something but when he ate it, there was no taste. He ate and ate, all tasted like paper until he coughed. He couldn’t sleep, he was in pain, cold all over, his body had a weird tingly sensation in them.

“It hurts, I’m in pain, I can’t sleep. What’s going on with me? All I want is to be normal once again”.

A voice in his head told him. “Forgive me Hashirama, but ever since you did that ritual, you aren’t human anymore”.

Dark circles on his lower lids, his rippled eyes in a fit of desperation, convincing himself of something. “I was born a human being. A human being. A human being”. He screamed. 

Alone, cold, in a cave in the Land of Ancestors, he shivered. “I wish Madara would accept me. He’s a human, obviously he loved me”.

He smiled, an insane one. “If I can't have him, then no one else will”. He cackled maniacally, his voice echoed in the walls of the cave.  
And so, the Senju schemed, to reunite with his beloved. This is the tale of Hashirama the Mad. He will wait for his beloved to cast the Infinite Tsukuyomi,

After nearly a hundred years, during the Fourth Shinobi World War when the Infinite Tsukuyomi was casted, this was the time in history that Hashirama graced the world with his presence. After the fight with Kaguya, Madara was summoned back by the Sage of the Six Paths into the original dimension, along with Team Seven and the Bijuu. All deceased Hokage were present, except for one, Hashirama. This brought Tobirama to a realization that his brother might be alive until all these years, he saw him.

The bijuu, Hagoromo and the others looked at the alive Hashirama. He dressed in all black reminiscent of mourning, his long hair disheveled. His tanned skin was a bit pale, eyes rippled like the Sage. His eyes had dark circles in them. And the most disturbing was his smile. A smile of a person lost in reality.

“Anija, how are you alive all this time?”.Tobirama asked, his eyes widened in surprise. No, something was different. Hashirama was insane. What lead into this? Hashirama had the Rinnegan like Madara, which was left with more questions. 

They were all silent when Hashirama walked towards Madara. The Uchiha, barely alive, stared at Hashirama’s disturbing smile. He was surprised when the Senju asked him to marry him. Madara listened to Hashirama’s confession, of his love to him. How he waited for this moment all these years.

“Will you marry me?”. The words of a desperate man.

Madara didn’t answer, then Tobirama screamed to Hashirama if he was mad. Hashirama still smiled then he saw Madara’s gaze. He remembered the rejection, of that kiss met with a push. Sadness clouded Hashirama as he stood up, pulled a tanto and stabbed Madara. “If I can’t have you, no one else will”.

Hashirama tried to stab Madara with a second try until he was restrained with Naruto’s chakra receivers. Hashirama screamed like a madman, wanting to kill Madara. Tobirama never knew of this. So in short, the brother he knew was a persona. This was his real brother, desperate for Madara’s love. Hashirama screamed that he hated Madara, then he loved him, then he should have died, then he should have lived.

A wave of chakra from Hashirama revived Madara, leading the Uchiha to cough. Despite this, Hashirama couldn’t free himself from the receivers until his shouts stopped. His eyes became dulled, he grew silent.

The fight to the Valley of the End still commenced between Naruto and Sasuke. Naruto won, they ended the Infinite Tsukuyomi. After the war, things went back to normal. While Madara was imprisoned for his crimes, he was later freed by Naruto’s appeal, as he could be a great asset to the village. However, Hashirama was locked up in a mental prison, screaming profanities that Madara should have died then retracting the statement that he should be with him.  
Madara was outside, staring at Hashirama with a pitiful look. He didn’t know Hashirama loved him all this time, that kiss a long time ago was Hashirama’s love for him. It was too late. He felt the same way after he was freed from his Curse of Hatred but Hashirama could no longer be reasoned with.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, it was too late. Love makes us crazy afterall.


End file.
